What he wanted
by amcarr86
Summary: What Timothy thought he wanted was to be pope.
1. Chapter 1

Timothy got into his car after leaving Briarcliff for the night. It had been a terrifying evening for him due to the exorcism he had to help preform. As he started his drive to the parish he couldn't help but think about everything he heard the boy say that evening. One thing in particular really stuck out to him. "Its you who she thinks of when she touches herself at night." Timothy recalled those words in his head over and over. He couldn't believe that it was true… but deep down he knew she did have feelings for him. The more he thought about it the more he realized that what the boy said was likely true. Timothy would never be one to admit it but he was a very inherently selfish man. Therefore he couldn't help but think of how he might use this knowledge to benefit him. If he was completely honest with himself he knew he also had feelings for her. As he continued to think about it he started to realize that he already was using Jude because of her feelings for him. He then started to think about how he felt about her. It hit him that he cared for her more deeply than any other person he'd ever known. Then he started to think about all the happy couples that he would see come to church every Sunday and how he sometimes yearned to have a loving relationship like that. Of course that was out of the question for him because he wanted more than anything Rome. But then the thought occurred to him… what if he could have his cake and eat it too. What if he could use Jude as his wife without actually being his wife. What if he had all the benefits of her as a wife without the sex. Therefore he could still be pope but still have someone to give him back rubs after a long hard day. Yes! Thats how he wanted it and as far as he was concerned he was going to convince her that was the way to go and she'd have to say yes because she loved him. As he pulled into his parking spot at the parish he was quite pleased with himself. He had a plan and as long as he had Jude wrapped around his finger it was going to work

It had been a year since the night Timothy decided to make Jude into an almost wife figure in his life. Everything had been going exactly like he thought it would. Jude was more than happy to treat him like a husband and he was loving the benefits of his decision. However on this night something was different. He had come to meet Jude for their nightly dinner and when he entered he didn't see her. He would usually find her putting the food on the table as he entered but the table was empty and Jude wasn't in the room. "Jude." He called. He heard something coming from the bathroom and as he turned he couldn't believe what he saw.

There was Jude standing in the bathroom doorway wearing nothing but a red nighty. "Hi." She said with a smirk. "I've been waiting for you." She walked up to Timothy wrapping her arms around his neck. "Do you know what today is Timothy?" She said lightly rubbing her nose on his cheek.

Timothy couldn't believe what he was seeing but figured he'd play along. "No I don't. Why don't you tell me?"

"Well a year ago today you asked me to be yours." She whispered in his ear. She lightly rubbed the back of his neck with the tips of her fingers knowing how it drove him crazy.

"I think I remember." He said with a grin as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I've enjoyed this year with you."

"So have I but do you think we can take it a little further?" As she said this she nipped at his ear lobe.

Timothy knew exactly where she was going with this. "Jude we've discussed this Im not losing my virtue." He pulled his head away slightly trying to look at her.

When he tried to pull away Jude just pulled him closer. "Fine. You don't have to lose your precious virtue to have pleasure Timothy." She whispered as she began to lightly kiss his cheek. "I just want to please you." With that she took her hand and placed it on his crotch.

Timothy swallowed hard. "What did you have in mind?" He said feeling her hand rub against him.

"How about I show you." She said with a grin as she crouched down and unzipped his pants.

As she took him into her mouth she looked up at him. He couldn't help but stare at her in amazement with every flick of her tongue he felt the wave of pleasure grow within him. Within minutes he felt this wave begin to take over. He broke his gaze and started to bend his head back enjoying the sensation of her mouth around him. He then place his hand on her head and began moving it back a forth increasing the speed. Then with out warning he felt the climactic wave start to fully take over him. "Oh…Juuude..I…I'm….I..!" As the cries of ecstasy filled the room Jude finished him off. She made it a point not to come up till she had taken care of every last drop.

As she came up lightly wiping the corners of her mouth she couldn't help but giggle at the look on his face. Timothy had never in his life done anything like that. It was the most erotic thing he had ever experienced thus far in his life. All Timothy could do in that moment was look at her in awe. "That was incredible." He finally managed to say.

"I knew you'd enjoy it." She said with a smile as she started toward the kitchen.

Timothy followed Jude into the kitchen. She started cooking as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "That really was incredible." He said placing kisses along her shoulder.

"You really liked it?" She said feeling his fingers graze her stomach through the lingerie.

"Yes and I wouldn't mind you doing it again sometime." He said nuzzling and kissing her neck.

Jude slightly moaned at the sensation of his lips on her neck. She then turned in his arms and kissed him wrapping her arms around his neck. As they deepened their kiss Timothy picked Jude up off her feet and sat her on the counter. "Make love to me Timothy... Please. You don't have to lose your virtue just touch me." She then wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

Timothy didn't say a word he just continued to kiss her deeply and placed his hand on her covered breast. As he continued this Jude pulled down the top of her nighty removing her arms from it and exposing herself. Timothy broke the kiss briefly to look down at Jude's newly exposed assets.

"Touch me Timothy." With that he started kissing down her neck and chest. Jude could smell the dinner burning so she reached over and shut off the stove as he continued his path. When he reached her breast he stopped and looked up at her with his lips still on her skin. Timothy had never been this far before and didn't want to overstep his bounds. Jude just smiled down at him.

"Go ahead don't stop." She said brushing her fingers through his hair. With that he took her breast in his mouth gently licking and sucking her. With his free hand he massaged her other breast fondling her nipple with his thumb.

After what seemed like eternity Jude felt like she was on the edge of ecstasy. "Timothy... I... I... I want you inside of me." She said with ragged breath.

Timothy stopped abruptly and looked up at her. "No Timothy don't stop it doesn't have to be like that! Your fingers use your fingers!"

Timothy was shocked he never thought of doing this. He wanted to please her and the more he thought about it the more he warmed up to it. He gently raised her nighty up her legs and placed his hand in side. He then slid his index finger inside of her surprised by how wet she was. "Like this." He said as he heard her moan.

"Yes... Now use two and move them in and out." She said as she tilted her head back relishing the feeling.

Timothy could tell she was fully enjoying this and wanted to take it as far as he could without breaking his vows. As he continued to move his fingers in and out of her he also went back to her breast. As soon as his mouth hit them she moan and bucked her hips forward. She looked down briefly and couldn't help but notice Timothy's growing excitement and wanted to help. She tried to sit up and felt him begin to get up. "No don't stop... I want to please you." She said as she unzipped his pants. She took him in her hand and began to stroke him.

Timothy could not believe what was happening not only was he pleasuring her but she him. Timothy could fill that now familiar wave start to hit him and he started tilting his head back. Jude could tell what was happening because it was happening to her too and stopped briefly. "Faster Timothy faster..." She moaned trying to catch up to his impending climax. As he moved faster she started stroking him again. Then when she couldn't take it any longer she let him go and braced herself on the counter letting her climatic cries fill the kitchen.

As Timothy felt her tighten around his fingers he grabbed himself and finished what Jude had started. When both their cries subsided they stood there trying to catch their breath. Jude was in a complete daze and Timothy was once again in awe. Once Jude caught her breath she took his face in her hands and kissed him.

Jude awoke the next morning feeling him on her leg. They had fallen asleep spooning with him behind her. She could feel him start to move in between her legs. Timothy was more asleep than he was awake and she smiled when she realized what he was doing. Jude was very uncomfortable where she lay so she ever so slightly adjusted herself but when she did she felt him slide right into her. Her eyes shot open when she felt him enter. She knew this was not what he meant to do. She quickly reached behind her and tapped him. "Timothy... Timothy you're inside me!" His eyes shot open when he heard her words but it was too late. He could already feel himself on the brink. He didn't want to stop so he just increased his speed quickly bring Jude to hers. As he felt Jude tighten around him and her cries of ecstasy start to fill the room he gave one last thrust and joined her. As their cries calmed Jude couldn't believe what just happened. After a few minutes they caught their breath and Jude turned in his arms taking his face in her hands. "Oh Timothy do you realize what you've done?" She said looking him straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry Jude." He looked down as he spoke.

"Oh no Timothy it's okay. Are you okay?" She said stroking his cheek.

"Yes. We'll... We'll ask God to forgive us... Only a husband and wife are suppose to experience that."

Jude couldn't help but slightly groan and roll her eyes at that comment. "Well if it weren't for the churches stupid rule we would be husband and wife... Wouldn't we?"

Timothy quickly looked up at her. "Of course we would!...But..."

Jude cut him off. "Well then why would he be mad at us? We've already made that commitment to one another! Just not formally... And that's only because of the church." She place her forehead against his.

"I guess you have a point." He said as he pulled her closer to him and kissed her. "I love you."

Jude giggled into his kiss. "I love you too!"

They remained that way for the next hour just kissing and cuddling. Neither one of them told anyone of their sexual mishap. However that's not to say they didn't indulge in their new expression of love from time to time. They both figured the damage was done.


	2. Chapter 2

A few months later Timothy was looking for Jude in the halls. He asked a orderly where she was and was told she had a stomach bug and was in her quarters. He went to go check on her and found that her door was locked. However unbeknownst to the staff and patients of Briarcliff she had given him a key. He let himself in and found her in her bathroom sitting beside the toilet crying. "Oh my love! What's wrong!?" He said rushing to sit by her side.

"Oh Timothy what were we thinking!? How could we let this happen!?" She said placing her face in her palms.

"Let what!? What's wrong!?" He said highly concerned due to he'd never seen her like this before.

"I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!" She sobbed.

Timothy was in shock all he could do was take her in his arms and hold her as she cried. "Are... Are you sure?" He asked swallowing hard.

Jude wiped her eyes as she lay her head on his chest. "Yes... I haven't had my monthly cycle in three months I never miss...and now I'm sick... Not to mention I'm exhausted all of the time."

Timothy kissed the top of her head he could tell she was scared. "We'll figure this out I promise."

With that she bolted upright and her hand instinctively went to her abdomen. "Don't make me abort our child Timothy! Please don't make me abort it!" She cried with extreme fear in her eyes.

Timothy's heart broke as she pleaded to him. Not only that but the words 'our child' hit him to the core. This was their child he was going to be a father a real father. Out of no where a protective instinct took over him. He wrapped Jude in his arms and held her tight. "No Jude I'm not going to make you get rid of our child... I promise."

Jude was automatically comforted by his words but was still scared. "Oh Timothy what are we going to do!?" She cried.

Timothy knew exactly what they had to do. "We're going to have to leave Jude. We can't stay here." He said kissing her head. Five minutes prior he would have never said that but that was before his entire life changed. He had always been an inherently selfish man but his life was no longer about him but about his child and the mother of his child. Being pope didn't seem to matter as much now.

"Timothy we can't just leave..." She said with her face buried in his chest.

"Yes we can and we will... It may take a few weeks to get the paper work and do it properly but we will."

Jude lifted her head. "Timothy I don't know how much longer it's going to be before I start showing."

Timothy couldn't help but smile. She was going to show soon and that made it even more real to him. "We're having a baby!" He said with a slight chuckle. He couldn't believe he was so happy. This was everything he ever wanted but never knew he wanted till now.

Jude smiled at his excitement. "Yes. We're having a baby!" She said with a small giggle. They pressed their foreheads together briefly allowing themselves to relish the moment of bliss. Then after a few minutes Jude finally spoke. "You know they're going to start wondering where you are monsignor."

"I know I should probably get back." He sighed. He stood to his feet helping Jude up. Before he left he wrapped his arms around Jude's waist. "It's going to be okay. I'll start the paperwork we'll be out of here in no time." He said kissing her.

"Timothy... What about being pope? You've wanted that your whole life." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Yes... It's true I've wanted that my whole life... But I think I wanted this more... I just didn't know I did until now." He saw the tears in Jude's eyes and kissed her deeply before showing himself out.

It had been a week since Jude had told Timothy they were going to be parents. They had already started the paperwork to leave but had kept it a secret from the staff and patients at Briarcliff. Of course Father Malachi had his suspicions since he figured out they were both leaving at the same time. However he just thought they were running away together he had no clue she was pregnant.

Within that past week Jude began noticing little fluttering sensations in her abdomen. She knew it was their baby and swore it knew when Timothy was around because they increased in his presence. They both also noticed that indeed she was starting to show. The week prior they hadn't really taken a good look but she was definitely showing. Luckily her habit hid it well.

Timothy was in the commons room speaking with the guards when Jude came in to do her daily inspection. As soon as they saw one another they lit up. Jude had to fight the urge to place her hand on her abdomen as she felt their child move. "Hello Father." She said with a smile.

"Well hello sister how are you today?"

"I'm doing just fine and yourself?" She placed her clipboard in front of her stomach as she faced Timothy and the guards.

"I couldn't be better!" He said with a slight wink. Jude nodded with a smile and continued her rounds. Then out of no where one of the patients snapped as she spoke to them. Without warning the patient jumped up and punched her in her gut. Jude let out a scream as Timothy turned around in horror. Timothy's protective instinct took over and he didn't think he just acted. He ran over grabbing the patient by the shoulders throwing them against the wall and holding them the by their neck. The whole room went silent and the guards rushed over prying Timothy off the patient. As soon as the guards had them Timothy rushed over to Jude.

"I'm okay I'm okay." She said trying not to bring much attention to herself. She then quickly left the room Timothy close behind her. As he followed her into her office he closed the door behind them. As soon as Jude heard it close she broke down crying. She covered her mouth with one hand as she instinctively covered her abdomen with her other. Timothy took Jude into his arms trying to sooth her.

"Are you sure you're okay my love?" He said trying not to show how truly worried he was.

"I think so but... Oh Timothy!" She cried as she buried her face in his chest.

"The baby. Is the baby okay?" He couldn't help it anymore the worry was all over his face.

"I think so but I don't know how to tell?" She said as she tried to stop crying and dry her tears.

"Well you said you could feel it. Can you still feel it move?" He said placing his hand on her abdomen.

Jude took a breath and tried to concentrate on their child. "Yes... But barely... Of course I'm just starting to feel it move so it's very faint... But..."

He cut her off. "That's it I'm taking you to the hospital. And I'm speeding up the paperwork. I'm not allowing you to be in danger here." Timothy was in full protective mode. They both changed into their civilian cloths and they snuck out through the tunnel to go to the hospital.

When they got there Timothy went straight up to the nurses station. He didn't even think before he spoke. "My wife's pregnant and she's took a nasty fall. We need to make sure are baby's okay."

Jude heard him call her his wife and once again felt a confirmation of his love for her. The nurse didn't question it as they both had forgotten to take off their rings. They were automatically placed in a room. Timothy refused to leave Jude's side and they aloud him to stay. Timothy held Jude's hand as the doctor examined her. He told them their baby seemed healthy and Jude was approximately over three months along. However just to make sure he brought a machine in and placed a wand in Jude's belly. All of the sudden the sound of a fast pace pitter patter filled the room. The doctor told them it was their baby's heart and they looked at one another with tears in their eyes. They both were overwhelmed and in awe. Timothy didn't know how or why but in that moment he was filled with this overwhelming unconditional love for their child that he had never experienced before. He leaned down and kissed her as a tear ran down his cheeks.

The doctor told Timothy everything seemed to be fine but keep an eye on her just incase. When they got back to Braircliff Timothy insisted that he stay the night with her. After he thought she had fallen asleep he sat down by her bed and laid his head on her stomach. Jude carefully looked down and smiled. She ran her fingers through his hair and slightly startled him.

"Oh I thought you were asleep." He said shyly.

"What are you doing?" She said still running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm trying to hear it's heartbeat."

Jude just giggled. "Oh Timothy you can't hear it's heartbeat that way! You have to at least have a stethoscope." She cupped his face with her hand gently stroking his cheek.

"Well then I guess I'll be in the look out for a stethoscope." He said getting up and crawling into bed beside her giving her one last kiss before they drifted off to sleep.

The next morning they got up early to get ready hoping that no one would notice that they spent the night together. As Jude stood in front of the bathroom mirror Timothy came from behind and wrapped his arms around her chest giving her a kiss on the cheek. Jude gasped in pain and Timothy quickly released her.

"Are you ok!?" He said in a slight panic.

"Yes... It's just... They hurt." She looked down at her ever growing breasts.

"Oh... Well they do look a bit bigger." He said with a grin.

"A bit bigger!? Timothy they've doubled in size!" She groaned as she place her hands in them.

"They've not doubled in size... They may have grown a size but not doubled." With that he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead.

"Oh Timothy what if people start to notice... What if they notice they're bigger... My habit is getting tighter."

Timothy looked down realizing she might have a point. "Well I doubt they'll notice and if they do I don't think they'll say anything... But if they do mention it you tell me and I'll put them in their place." Timothy started to feel his protective nature start to take over as he thought more about it.

"Timothy..." She said as she raised her brow. She could tell we was getting overprotective and at first she didn't know what to think but she quickly found she kind of like it.

"I'm sorry but I don't like the idea of other people looking at my wife's breasts!"He huffed.

"Timothy!" She gasp.

"Well my soon to be wife's breasts. I don't care I don't like it." He could tell he was just making himself angry thinking about it.

Jude couldn't help but smile taking his face in her hands. "Calm down its okay... I love you too." She knew he didn't say that but she knew that's what he meant out of all of this. They stood there with their foreheads touching until they went back to getting ready.

Later that evening Timothy knew he needed to pay a visit to Dr. Arden and tie up lose ends before he left.

"Can I help you?" Arden said as Timothy entered his lab.

"I've just come to tell you I'm leavening with in the week so you'll no longer see me."

"Leaving!? You're moving up so soon?" Arden couldn't hide his shock.

"No. I'm leaving the church and coincidentally so is Sister Jude."

Arden's head shot up. "Leaving the church!? But what about all your dreams!?" Then it hit Arden. "She's pregnant isn't she?" No one else caught on but Arden just knew.

"No! We both decided separately that we no longer wished to be with the church."

"Sure you did..." Arden could tell by Timothy's voice he was lying.

"Anyway I wanted to come by and tell you that as long as you don't say a word about our secret I won't." Timothy said matter-of-factly.

"Of course you won't... If you tell you'll also go to prison and then your baby won't have a father." Arden smiled at the last part.

"Very funny Doctor." Timothy said trying to hide his nervousness.

"I thought so..." Arden laughed. "Tell Sister Jude congratulations from me!" He said as he turned around back to his table.

As Timothy made his way out of Arden's office he grabbed his stethoscope off his desk and put it in his robe. Timothy figured Arden owed him and stethoscope would have to do.

That night Timothy went to visit Jude. He let himself in her quarters and found her napping on her bed. She must have just taken a bath before napping because she was just dressed in a simple white robe. As he stood in the doorway admiring her beauty he remembered he had the stethoscope. He thought it would be the perfect time to use it since she was sleeping. He carefully sat beside her as he put the stethoscope in his ears. He then ever so gently slid the end of it under her robe and placed it on her stomach. Jude wasn't truly asleep like he thought and as soon as she felt the cold end of the stethoscope touch her she knew instantly what he was doing. She allowed him to try to find a heartbeat for the first few minutes by himself. She knew if he heard it at all it was probably very faint since where he had placed the stethoscope was closer to her stomach than where the baby actually was. She then reached down taking Timothy's hand and guiding it to the correct spot.

"You know you could probably hear it better if you were actually over it." She said with a warm smile.

"Oh... Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." He couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed.

"It's ok I wasn't really asleep I was just resting."

Then Timothy heard the heartbeat and his face lit up. "Jude... I can actually hear it!"

Jude just ran her fingers through his hair as he continued to listen.

"Here do you want to listen?" He said taking it out of his ears.

"I would. Thank you." As soon as she placed the stethoscope in her ears she could hear the heartbeat. After a few minutes of listening she gave it back to Timothy. "Where did you find the stethoscope?" She asked as she adjusted her robe back into place.

"Let's just say someone owed me." He said getting up and putting it on the night stand. "Do you mind if I stay the night?"

"Do I mind if you stay the night?" She laughed walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Do you have to ask? Of course you can stay the night!" With that he turned and kissed her.

"I was just trying to be a gentleman."

He said as he continued to kiss her.

"Timothy... I'm pregnant with...your child...and...we're going to be...married soon...so I think...it's safe...to say...you can stay." She said in between kisses.

They used the stethoscope a few more times that night before going to bed. As Jude was trying to fall asleep she felt the cold end of the stethoscope touch her belly. Jude couldn't help but groan. "Timothy... I'm trying to sleep..."

"Sorry..." He said taking out of his ears and placing it on the night stand.

"I promise it's not going anywhere you can listen to it in the morning." She said turning and giving him a kiss before going to sleep.

Within a few short weeks they were officially resigned from the church. The first thing they did was go to the courthouse and get married. Timothy found them a nice little two bedroom apartment in the city. He also found himself a job at the local high school teaching. Jude stayed home and kept house as she steadily got bigger. It'd been almost five months since they settled into their apartment and Jude was washing dishes. She had been having small cramps all morning but didn't think much of them. Then out of no where she felt water gush down her legs. At first she thought she might have sloshed the dishwater out of the sink but quickly realized that was not the case. As she rushed to the phone to call Timothy at work she felt this incredible pain rip through her abdomen. She braced herself has she grabbed the counter. When she finally got a hold of Timothy she told him to come home it was time. Timothy rushed home and took Jude to the hospital. Timothy waited in the waiting room for what seemed to be an eternity when a nurse finally came and got him. When he got to Jude's room he stopped in the doorway. The site before him overwhelmed him. There she was his beautiful wife holding their newborn. She looked up and saw him with tears in her eyes.

"Timothy! Come and look... Look at our son!"

Timothy hurried over putting his arm around Jude looking down at their new son. "We have a son!" He said as he felt tears start to well up in his eyes.

"Yes Timothy...we have a son and he's perfect...we have a perfect little boy!" Tears were now streaming down Jude's cheeks as she ran the back of her finger down the his little cheek. Timothy kissed the top of Jude's head as they looked at their newborn in awe.

"Mr and Mrs. Howard?" A nurse inquired from behind. Timothy looked up and turned around.

"Yes?"

"We were just finishing up your paperwork and well... We need to know if you've named your son?"

"Yes we have." Timothy said matter-of-factly. Jude's head shot up they'd never came to a finial decision on the name and Jude was confused.

"His name will be Timothy Howard Jr." Timothy never once look at Jude when he told the nurse. The nurse took down the name and exited the room.

Jude couldn't help but be a little hurt but she knew it made sense. "Timothy we never came to a final decision on a name... Why didn't you ask me?" She said as he turned toward her.

"I'm sorry love... It's just...well when I look down at him I see part of me and well... He is our first born son... But you're right I should have ask... I'm sorry." He said as be leaned down and kissed her lips.

"Well I guess you're right he is our first born son so it does make sense." Just then they heard a little cry come from Jude's arms. They both looked down as the baby started to fuss. "Oh there there... It's alright... Timmy." Jude said with a smile. "That's what we'll call you... Timmy."

Timothy couldn't help but fill with pride as he watched Jude sooth their fussing son. He never in his life felt as much love and peace as he did in that moment. His whole life had been centered around him now everything had changed. He thought for most of his life being pope was what he wanted but now he realized that this was what he wanted... A family.


End file.
